Posted by: Jay | June 21, 2007

Good-bye for now

I’m sorry to say that I’m laying down my blog for a while. My search for understanding is taking a toll on my beautiful wife and myself. I’ve become so cloaked in the wave of criticism against the LDS Church that I have let it take me away from my family. I love my wife dearly and do not wish to cause her pain. Both of our lives are extremely busy at present. I sadly do not have the time to do the study into these topics that would satisfy my desire to get at the truth. I thank you all for your comments. It truly has been a great experience to see how others view the LDS Church and its doctrine and to know that there are other members that struggle with the same problems I do.

To everyone that struggles with LDS Church history and doctrine I say don’t give up! Keep searching keep trying to understand. Don’t take anyone else’s word for truth. Evaluate things critically, search for the other point of view. There have been a number of scholarly papers and books done for and against the LDS Church on almost every conceivable issue. Before you leave the LDS Church you should give both sides several chances to defend themselves. When I have done this I have found many accusations against the LDS Church to be baseless and trite. However, honesty compels me to admit that some criticisms have firm ground to stand on and the replies of defense I’ve read to this point do not satisfy me fully. These are very few issues that cause me to be troubled but until I have the time to resolve them I must lean on the Lord and pray for patience.

I realize that we are all at different levels of belief and disbelief. I will continue my belief in the LDS Church. It is what I know and how I have come to accept Christ as my Savior. Many things I took for granted as true have been challenged, which has caused me to reevaluate my faith. This has been mistaken by some, including my wife, as a rejection of the LDS Church. This is not so. I love the LDS Church. My testimony has changed but my commitment to Christ has not. I will continue to serve Him the best I can as an LDS member.

The LDS Church is great in so many ways. There are so many unique truths that I hold close to my heart. I will not just abandon them on a whim. I thank everyone for your comments here. They have helped me increase in understanding. I’ll still be around commenting from time to time on other blogs, but my main focus now must be my family and my research. When I come back I hope to find you all again.

Best wishes,




  1. Great job on this final (?) post. And great job prioritizing your wife.

    I’m most of all grateful that we agree that Christ is the center of our own personal faiths and that an effort to be more like him is worth it.

  2. Great job and I admire your ability to prioritize your family. I recognize that my own self-discovery also has an impact on my relationship with my wife as well, although she has been VERY supportive and understanding during this whole ordeal. I wish I could stop, but at this point, it is like an addiction for me. The more answers I seek, the more questions arise. I can’t sleep when I have questions on my mind. I am the type of person that when faced with a question, I just HAVE to find the answer, even if the answer is painful and disturbing.

    I agree with you that there are some criticisms that have honest answers, but then there are also many criticisms that are firm. I think I have pretty much arrived at complete disbelief in Mormonism, no matter how many arguments exist, my trump card will always be the BoA. I can’t get around it. By disbelief, I mean I disbelieve that it was divinely inspired by God. I hope you come back to this blog. Perhaps one day you will go the opposite direction I did. You have voiced many of the same concerns that I have and many of your posts mirror many of my own questions.

    For me, what it comes down to is that I simply can’t trust an organization that has been wrong about so many things and is so slow to make corrections. I know that no organization is perfect, but when you claim divine authority, it only makes you more stubborn when you are proven wrong. Some examples include blacks and the priesthood, polygamy, current sexism, homophobia, the creation account, a 6,000 year old earth, Native American origins, a global flood with Noah’s Ark just to name a few.

    I would like to invite you to make any comments on my blog if you would like to express your opinion.

  3. Jay, hug your wife. A wife is indeed a treasure.

    And keep studying the scriptures.

    Christ, above even earthly family, is the greatest treasure of all.

    I will be around . . . for there is a lot to talk about.

  4. Jay, thanks for all of your comments. You definitely added to the blogs.

    Good luck in all you do. And I second Dando’s comment.

  5. Jay,Truth comes from God.Ask him and move on.It takes I honest prayer.Surely you have time for one prayer?
    Father in heaven,Was Joseph Smith a prophet of God and is the Book of Mormon the word of God?Thats it.
    If no answer comes it’s because of lack of study or sin that you must give up and be clean.Otherwise its easy.

  6. Noah’s Ark! You must be an Atheist cop out.

  7. Bjennings,

    If only it were that simple.

    So pray to ask if the BofM is true. If the answer is no, then you must be a sinner.

    What if the answer really is no?

    And we now know that there was no global flood. People that still believe this myth have no credibility with me.

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